I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Semen is not good for contacts.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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