Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
