Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
