Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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