I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.