Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize