Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
