Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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