So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
