the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My balls are so social today.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
