I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
