They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
