Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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