need another drink. this is the easiest way
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
