that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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