I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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