So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
this beer tastes like vomit already
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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