And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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