Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dear god my vagina.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize