we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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