Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
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i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
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All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"