Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads