Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line