you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
