i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You ruined the universe
Randomize
