Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
