I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
