I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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