It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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