wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
