so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
