if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
