You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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