i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
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In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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