Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jrose23 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break

Fav 16 6355 817
share tweet
(310): View more from California

When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

Fav 17 4898 1268
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(831): View more from California

she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

Fav 16 5031 1489
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.

Fav 38 1755 4072
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.

Fav 15 1920 4619
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.

Fav 4 1896 1233
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.

Fav 3 1787 930
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.

Fav 0 39 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

100000% expect a picture of my ass in them

Fav 0 64 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT