It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
