We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
