So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
