I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize