I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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