my phone needs a breathalizer
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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