Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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