We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
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DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
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Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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