Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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