You smell like stripper and shame
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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