the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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