her vagine was all disorganized.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
