I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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