He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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