I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I smell stomach acid.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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