i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
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I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
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Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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