That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
