so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
OPIZZABONMYDICK
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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