a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
