Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
