I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
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It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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