i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
