Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
