ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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