I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You made out with two different species that night
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
