We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize