your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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