I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
